Well taking a look at my calendar you would think I was rock star with all the appointments i have in the next two weeks. Unfortunately they are all doctors appointments!. YUCK
Since i posted last I have had a couple of things done i can check off my ever growing list of prerequisites i need for the surgery. The first thing was the sleep study test. Which, I would NEVER recommend. First of all the appointment is at 9 pm so i spend my entire day thinking about this upcoming event instead of enjoying a beautiful mothers day BBQ we had at the house. I get to the facility after a brief dispute with my GPS, on time and proceed to introduce myself to Doogie Howser tech that will be monitoring me for the night. So he proceeds to tell me what will happen and mark my head and face for the wires, this one does that , that one does this, who cares!! This one will let me know if your sleeping or awake. "Who are you, Santa?", I asked him. Well we got a laugh from the kid on that one. Now come the wires !! Now i am no fool, I realized i was going to be strapped in and have wires attached but i was NOT prepared for the actual number of wires i had on me. I looked like some 1950's B movie version of a robot or a bad Lady Gaga outfit. They were all over my head and chest and throat so moving was not an option. I got into bed and wherever i landed is where i was going to stay. It was explained to me that i would be monitored for 2 hours and if i was having apnea's i would be woken to put on a mask. Che Right !! I explained to Doogie(who's real name was Darwin) that i tried the mask once before and hated every second. Evidently he had to try it to make his bosses happy so i said fine i will try it for as long as possible. Off to bed I go. No i am laying there hot, confined and in a strange place, sounds peaceful huh? i obviously did not fall right to sleep but thought about 6 am and how much i wanted it to be here(that was checkout time). Well next thing i knew it was time to go to the bathroom. Now peeing at night is bothersome anyway, you wake up have to go then try to fall back asleep. Now try having to call for Darwin and wait for him to hear you and come disconnect your wire pack from the base. Then he handed me the back and the 50-70 wires all hanging in front of me and off i went. Now i will not get graphic here but believe me when i say going to the bathroom entwined in wires was quite a lesson in humility and embarrassment and something i never want to experience again. I just kept thinking is all of this really worth it?? Is it ? I guess I will let you know. So if going to the bathroom that time wasn't bad enough i wound up having to go 2 more times through the course of the night each time was worse than the other. Now the first time I went it was 12:15 am and Darwin said i needed to try the mask. I am not sure if anyone reading this every tried on a sleep apnea mask but i hate it. I am claustrophobic and this mask creates a seal over your mouth and nose and is tightly snapped on by large ban across the back of your head and forces air into your mouth. I only have two words for that.. Panic Attack. I had to pull it off my face as far as i could to speak and tell him to get it off. Hey you tried kiddo, you're bosses will be proud but this is not for me. So i go back to bed get up for my second pee its 2:30 am damn you elusive 6 am. So know i am laying in bed thinking ok i went to the bathroom at 2:30 it has to almost be 5 am. I look at my phone to see its only 3:15. My heart sank as i lay in that murphy bed thinking this night has to come to an end soon. finally for the third bathroom its after 4:30 ok this is good we are in the home stretch. I get back to bed and proceed to watch the clock countdown to 6. Ok Darwin where are you? Finally i call for him at 6:10 and he comes in to remove me from my electrical prison. All i want to do is get out of there and go home and take a shower. as the last of the electrodes come off i realize my head looks like something that survived the Exxon Valdez spill. Large gross lumps of "glue" as he called them but were really extra thick clumps of grease. I was never more happy to see my house and shower than i was that monday morning. Now foolish I thought i would be able to go to work that day since after all i was just going to be sleeping the night before, right ?? I am sure you guessed i called in sick and slept the entire day away.
My next adventure was much more sedate, it was the weight loss surgery seminar which i am required to attend. This showed me all the benefits to the different surgeries and i think i have picked the right one. I am going with the Sleeve Gastrectomy. It is a little but more invasive then the band but i think its the right fit for me. They remove about 80 percent of your stomach and with that the hormones that tell you, you are hungry. So i am hoping i made the right decision. I have appointments this Thursday, Friday and Monday so I am sure you will be hearing from me soon. Love ya all