Wednesday, April 27, 2011

MY head is spinning and no vodka was involved....

WHAT ?? You want to take out how much of my what ? STOP!!!. Lets rewind this show a little huh.
         I am Jim Walters and have struggled with a weight problem since puberty. So no i wasn't one of those 80 lb 4 years old on Maury with a chicken leg in one hand and a cigarette in the other and a mom wondering why I am so big already? It started gradually, i liked chocolate and hated vegetables, its not rocket science. I always wanted to try and lose weight get healthier, start doing things i loved and missed like fitting into rides at the amusement park or going swimming without my shirt on. There was always a deadline. I will make 21 the year i change my life, I am NOT going into my 30's a fattie, I refuse to turn 35 at this size. well I am now 37 and at the biggest I have ever been. Weight loss surgery was always something others had mentioned to me but i considered that failing, come on chubbie just put down the cheeseburger!! And there was NO WAY i wanted to have the saggy left over skin. I would rather be fat then have that i would tell myself, and MEAN it. Well I finally found out that none of this is as easy as i thought it would be or should be. Only took me 24 years to figure this out (and I am suppose to be the smart one on in my family). So now I am 37 years old and get winded from washing my hair or walking from my bed to the bathroom. Something is wrong I have never really had any health problems attached to my weight other then the dreaded SLEEP APNEA, which i was never officially diagnosed with since i refused to go get it checked out. But i never had high blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes etc. very very lucky. But now i sweat from a big lunch?? Come on!!! Now i am getting scared. My sleep deprivation is getting worse i have to take control of my life. Is it time ? Should i really look into this?? Do i finally give in and realize i need help??? Yes ! its time for weight loss surgery ( dum dum dum ).
 This is me at my starting size 
        Appointment made. 4:30 appointment in Union NJ, ewww pithole area but ok I am sure the office will be better. OH! guess i was wrong there. However these people seem friendly so i can deal with it. Little did i know it was going to be a 2 hour office visit and i would wind up liking these people quite a bit. OK time to be seen, blood pressure and weigh in time yikes !! well BP not bad 140/83 and i am nervous. Weight .. WHAT ??? are you kidding me ? I don't even think I can blog about it yet. but lets just say i thought people this large were trapped in bed wearing bed sheet muumuu's .
       Now the nutrionalist comes down to see me and wants me up stairs.
Are the stairs ok ??
OK for who ? dont you have my chart in front of you i am thinking ?? plus i was just seen this morning for a cat scan for a possible deflated lung (different story and was a false alarm). I will meet you upstairs she tells me.
           So they want to know if i have thought about what kind of surgery I wanted, now I work for a large company that makes a certain stomach band and i just assumed that was what i was going with. However there are 3 different procedures each with different outcomes etc, the doc will tell you more ok later for that. The Nutritionist told me exactly what i already knew , no soda, juice, no late night eating. Also cut back on the fruits and up the veggies, easier said then done for a card carrying veggie hater. We will see how that goes. Now off to see the insurance guru.
          Wow that's a lot of paperwork she has there i was thinking i had to jump through some hoops but i feel like a circus poodle now. I have to have how many tests done? Lets break them down, stress test, vericose duplex, sleep study, blood work, chest x-ray, ekg, attend a seminar, see a psychologist, one hour with a nutritionist, vascular surgery to put an umbrella filter in my vein to prevent clots, anything else ? mm i think i forgot a couple. MAN this has become daunting. Dont these people know i am very large and LAZY, i have struggled for 24 years with this lets just schedule the surgery for this friday huh ?? Well that's a no go since i need to be seen by them for 3-4 months before surgery gets scheduled. This is not an easy process. My head is spinning and i haven't had any cocktails to make me feel this way.
         Well now i see the doctor and she is very nice and warm and i like her. So she starts telling me about the different tests and she thinks the gastric sleeve might be best for me. I say well i was kind of hoping for a low invasive surgery something thats not drastic, what does this sleeve entail?
 Well we remove about 85 % of your stomach, leaving you with a small stomach sleeve.  In case you missed my first word in the blog ..WHAT ??? O.K. i need to attend this seminar but right now i am still thinking the band, she says people with the band only lose about 50 % of their excess body weight ? UMMMMM I am cool with that. But be sure I will let you know what i decide. So my first appointment was yesterday 04/26 and i have made a lot of my other appointments for the next few weeks. Keep you all posted .. Jim - Diary of a fat man.


  1. Congrats cuz! I love this ~ and I love how honest you are. I am looking forward to seeing your progress ~ and while I can't wait to see you, I look forward to seeing less of you. Big hugs to you! Much love....

  2. Jim - I'm impressed! Not only do I love your voice, but now I see that you're quite a writer too! This was so good to read for so many reasons. As Barb mentioned, your honesty and openness is refreshing. Your sense of humor leaves me smiling. But mostly, I'm impressed and glad you're taking this big step. It does sound daunting, doesn't it? But I think if we deal with each small step and don't worry about the big picture, we can get through stuff easier. Also, you should talk to my sister Cathy about the lap band surgery. It helped her at first, but they can stretch, and without enough will power, the weight can come back.
    Whatever you decide to do, I'm glad you're doing something. Maybe it will inspire me to follow in your footsteps. Then we can both be here a little longer! Hugs, Cousin!