The Final Countdown

     Well folks, we are approaching the final countdown to the weight loss surgery. Tuesday afternoon I stop eating anything and can only drink water from 1 pm on. Then Wednesday at some point I will be heading to overlook hospital to be admitted. I am hoping for an early surgery time, keep your fingers crossed. Then i am hoping for just a one night stay in the hospital to be home on Thursday afternoon sometime. Again, fingers crossed, maybe even toes!. The last procedure before the surgery was performed on Thursday afternoon. It was the placing of the IVC filter inside of me. As everyone knows I went into the procedure with great trepidation. But ALAS, as the song says at first I was afraid, I was petrified.. I SURVIVED....
     First let me explain what the IVC filter is then you can see why i was not looking forward to this. IVC, stands for Inferior Vena Cava which is the lower part of the main vein that brings blood into the heart from the body. There is a risk at my size that after surgery a blot clot could travel from my legs into my heart or lungs. The IVC filter prevents that. To place the filter they have to put a catheter into my femoral vein, the large vein that runs up the leg to the IVC. They do this at the groin area. YES, they had to put a large needle with a catheter into the vein in my groin, and all down with no sedation. So, I was not looking forward to this. Below Is a picture of the filter and a diagram of how it goes in. Although they went in on my right side not left.

 

      Pretty scary huh? Well to give credit where it is due, my friend Lisa told me it was not that bad and honestly it was not that bad. The worst part of the entire process was the waiting. Gus and I got there at 10:30 am for a 11 am procedure. I immediately was seen by a nurse who drew my blood.

But then the waiting began. We were told to go to same day surgery where we waited for a good 30 minutes. Finally I was called in, my heart in my throat I walked to the back. Every thing seemed so to be moving so quickly now, and it was bright back there. i sat in a chair and a nurse took my blood pressure and temp and proceeded to ask me different questions that by now i have answered 850 times. No I am not allergic to anything, No I do not smoke, etc. etc. I should have a sheet printed with all the answers and just hand them out. All the same questions over and over EXCEPT for this one. Do you have a living will? I am out of here!! What? The nurse advises its just something they have to ask and i shouldn't worry. Well that ship has already sailed sister! Well she was done, I am now expecting to see the oh so fashion forward and revealing gown. However this is not where i am going to have it done. I say a quick thank god, the last place I wanted to be was someplace called same day surgery when i thought this was like an office procedure. So down to outpatient radiology they sent us. AHH now that sounds more pleasant and benign. I was wrong. However what was pleasant or should I say who was pleasant were the nurses there. I can not say enough about this nurse Kathy who was with me during the procedure. She got me to my bed, gave me my gown and so politely told me to strip down, biut its ok I can leave my socks on !! LOL The place we waited in out patient surgery was darker then same day surgery area and my bed was in a little corner tucked away. Here again we .. you guessed it .. waited. 

     We were told that the doctor was delayed and it would be about a half hour. Unfortunately 10 minutes later I saw my doctor and my heart sunk. My feelings although had changed, at this point I now only wanted this procedure over with and to be on the way home. My nurse came to get me and wheeled me into a large room that resembled an operating room. In fact it was on operating room. I was asked to scoot myself onto the very very narrow table and which point my gown rose above my hips and i was giving Kathy and Muhamed, the tech, quite a show. They were however extremely professional and Kathy assisted me in keeping my modesty and dignity by lowering it every time I moved. Now this is where the waiting actually resembles torture. I was trapped on a tiny table with a tech and nurse working quickly around me, instruments clanking, carts rolling, all preparing for the big moment. All i could do was ask God to please let them start and get this over with. Kathy must have sensed my worry and told me that of all the procedure they preform in radiology this was the fastest and least painful. Now I know she was trying to help but i was hoping to hear NOT painful. 

      The Doctor was finally there and he was speaking to me but all i could do was stare forward and listen as Moe, as we was called by the doctor shaved my nether region. The doctor told me he was going to talk me through every thing he was going to do. All I wanted to say to him was GOD PLEASE DON'T. I dont want to know whats coming, all I want to hear from him is, "OK we're done". As he began, the angelic Kathy stood behind me and rubbed my shoulders telling me this was going to be ok and I would be fine. In fact every time he was about to do something invasive she would repeat this. It was almost mothering and I have to say it was very nice. I didn't notice the local anesthetic being injected and it did not burn as i thought it would. I did however feel when the needle punctured my vein it didnt hurt but it was more like a large pulse through my body and it felt strange but not painful. Then there was some pressure when the catheter was going in and within minutes I heard. OK the filter is in. Everything Kathy told me was true and I was no worse for the wear. Relieved to be be done all I wanted was to get out of there, but I had to go to same day surgery and lay flat for an hour. Another evil waiting game. 

     While I was there a nurse came in every 15 minutes to take my pulse from my feet and I must have asked Gus the time every 5 minutes. 3 pm was my discharge time and although it was noe hour it felt like three. Again, the nurses where more than I could have hoped for with their kind words and encouragement about the up coming surgery on Wednesday. I have to say I could have come this far with out encouragement. Especially from Gus, my mom, my family and my friends, I get cards of encouragement from my friend Kendall's parents that are a source of joy with every word they write. Thanks Brenda and Ken. Well Wednesday is almost here, got to go rest up.

 

A rollercoaster day

     Well, I was not looking forward to today all weekend. Today was the day my IVC filter was going to be put into me through a vein in my groin. Fear of the unknown was my affliction all weekend. Last night I did not want to go to bed, knowing that sleeping would only make the morning arrive that much faster. Inevitably I laid down to sleep and of course morning was here before I knew it. I was unusually quiet and quite visibly anxious the entire ride to the doctors office. Now due to vacation schedules I had to go all the way up to North Jersey for this procedure and it was about an hour ride. This is quite a long time to have to think about what was going to be happening shortly. As we get closer my heart raced a little faster with every announcement from the ever increasingly annoying voice of the GPS lady. "In one half mile, your destination will be on the right.." Oh boy a wave of nausea hits. Well lets get this over with as soon as I am in the sooner I am out. The building was pleasant looking enough and there was a cute bridge that went over a running stream that produce a very relaxing and peaceful sound. Almost like being in the woods somewhere far away from needles and filters. I am amazed once again at how beautiful this world can be sometimes.

     After stopping for a minute we went into the building and signed in, gave all my paper work and sat down. Just us and an elderly couple who were there before us were waiting. I saw the office was split into two parts. One for the dr's office and the other part were the procedure suites. I assumed I would be seen in the office then move over to the procedure suite to have it put in. I saw a tech or nurse come out in her scrubs but no one called me yet. It is strange how in these circumstances time seems to both fly by and move so slowly simultaneously. I didn't want to be called in yet I wanted it over. With every passing minute i was expecting the door to open and for them to call my name. Minutes flew by and with ever door knob turn so did my stomach. Yet through all this I was still waiting. It was over an hour before a nurse came out and finally called me in. AN HOUR! come one there was only one couple before us and all they needed was to say something to the doctor.
     Well finally in the room and the nurse says we are hear to check your legs right? Well no i am here for a filter, I let her know. Evidently they need to check my legs first. OK. Here they are. Sexy, right? She informed me the doctor would be right with me. I have to say doctors office must have different definitions for some common english words than we do. For instance, "you might feel some pressure" really means this is gonna hurt. "This might hurt a bit" means you're going to need Demerol after this.  And my favorite, " the doctor will be right with you" evidently means 25 minutes later.
     The doctor comes in and goes over my history and tells me he may go in through my groin but he likes going in the through the neck. Wait what ??? Now I am not sure which I hate more but I figure the neck is closer to my lungs then my groin so ok. So now he wants to know what day is good for me? UMMMMMMM WHAT ??? He never planned on doing the procedure today. So I drove an hour, waited an hour in the waiting room, waited 25 minutes in the smaller room and had to drive an hour back home for him to talk to me for 10 minutes! Next time hit me up on my celly doc! I mean this was ridiculous. Gus took off work for nothing and now has to take off Thursday again since that's the procedure day now. I was quite annoyed now i have to be anxious for another 3 days.
      So now its time to get my mind off this and do something fun. We decided on taking my nephews to the movies. I really wanted to see a new movie that came out this weekend however I was nervous. It had been quite a while since I have been in a movie theater. More specifically since I had been in a movie theater SEAT. I shrugged it off, I am down 40 pounds I am going to try it. Well as soon as I sat down i knew i would not be getting up until the end of the movie so bathroom be damned. It was shall we say snug! I was ok with it since Gus was on one side of me and my 8 yo old nephew was on the other side of me. It was only a 4 seater row and we filled it so I knew i wouldn't be embarrassed by people trying to squeeze passed me to get in and out of the row. Just one of the things us big people worry about when we go places. That an of course the side stares and whispers people think I don't see or hear. I however choose to ignore it. As I did this evening when one of the ignorant teenagers behind us threw a popcorn kernel at my back as the movie was letting out and I was still sitting in the seat. Things like that happen but I was not about to let them see me get flustered. Let the ass' think they missed. These are the things I will not miss after the weight loss. So all in all this day had quite its ups and downs. It will be a busy week, so more to come.

2 weeks away..

     Yes that's right, in exactly 2 weeks from today I will be in the hospital bed recovering from the surgery. You would think with the surgery so close everything I need to do would be all wrapped up. WRONG ! Still a lot to take care of, some of it being loose ends with my surgeons but some with other physicians as well. Dealing with so many doctors in the past few months I have really become amazed. Some, like my surgeons at the bariatric office, like Dr. Jack and Dr. Forrester seem to have it all together. Every i dotted and t crossed. I am sure Dr. Goyal is the same, I just have not dealt with him yet. Plus they have a great staff that backs them up. Some doctors however ?? I can't see how they make it to work everyday.
     Now from my past writing we all know I am too fat to get a stress test done. Now this doesn't mean that I cant perform what I need to, like walk on a treadmill. It means the table I have to lay on to take the pictures of my heart is too small. So yes, the people that need to have stress tests done the most are too heavy to get them done. Which is why they need them done in the first place. Let's hear it for the genius who designed that flaw. So because I could not get the test done at the hospital, I still needed clearance from a cardiologist to have the surgery done. Someone to say, yes his ticker is not going to give out on the table. If it hasn't given out on me trying to walk up 3 flights of stairs at over 500 lbs I dont think its going to have a problem with me lying on a table passed out during surgery. But hey I am no cardiologist. I did however go see one on Monday to get cleared. I saw someone in the same office last year who cleared me for my hernia operation. So I am figuring this is going to be in and out. FAMOUS LAST WORDS. The nurse takes me back takes my blood pressure, 130/82. Excellent. Then performs an ekg. Harmless, painless and quick. Then about 10 minutes later, a small delicate asian doctor probably in his late 50's to early 60's comes in to see me. He looks over my files and says ok no high blood pressure, no pains, no real problems. He then proceeds to look up and says "so you just like to eat to much huh?" Well I didn't get this way from bulimia gone wrong? "Yes" I said to him being as polite as ever. My mom raised me right. he then proceeds to tell me for clearance we need to run some tests. We have to do a stress test.. WHAT ?? I must have heard him wrong. I advised him that I could not because of my size. "OH" he says "then probably can not do other stress test either". I then tried to explain to him that there was a weight limit on the tables. He of course had to go verify this and come back 10 minutes later telling me no tables in the area could be found. Ummmm Yeah Yoda, I already knew that! That is why I am here. I then had to "remind" him that last year I was cleared for surgery without a stress test and they did an echocardiagram. well then lets schedule one and he sends me off. So now I am still not cleared for surgery and have to go back to him at 9 AM on Tuesday for the test. The day after I am getting the IVC filter put in through my groin, YIKES. I am less freaked out about that since a friend advised me ai am going to be pretty sedated for the procedure and wont remember a thing. Sounds a lot like some nights I had in my youth.
     So I still have to be cleared, get blood work done, get the filter put in, and sign my consent forms. Its gonna be a BUSY two weeks. I will keep you all posted.

21 days to go.

     Well i just did the math and there are only 21 days until i check into the hospital. As i said i was quite nervous when i first was given the date and last some of my fears were put rest. Its not so much the surgery I am concerned about I am I will be sleeping during that who cares ! However Hospital stays suck ! Usually I am way to heavy for the bed support and i wind up feeling the metal bed underneath. Which of course makes for a real peaceful nights sleep!! Then of course there is the question of will I have a roommate? Will that roommate be perky and chatty? If so, please just give me a staph infection and move me to my own room.  I have learned that the doctors I am seeing our actually the Directors of bariatric surgery at Overlook Hospital and evidently, patients of directors get spoiled and treated very very well. So bring it on sunshine !!
     I learned all of this from a consent class we had last night at the doctors office. I had to bring a friend of family so Gus came with me and we got their a little before 5. I was weighed in and lost another 5 pounds on my own. Bringing my post op-surgery loss to 40 pounds. Lets hear it for the treadmill. Most of the information they told us I had already learned about like the 2 weeks before the surgery most patients have to restrict their diet. Well I have been doing that for over a month now so I am way ahead. I was also given the phone number of one last doctor I need to see to get all my tests and procedures done. This one makes me very nervous too.
     This doctor will be performing an IVC filter implant. This is so I won't throw a clot to my lungs and die. OK, I get that. Its important! However I don't like the idea of them entering my body through a vein in my groin and shoving a catheter all the way to my chest. Especially since I do not think I will be under anesthesia. Someone told me its just some drugs to make you dopey well I am already dopey so what if they don't work. I want a board certified anesthesiologist please !! Some nice Jewish doctor, I hear they are the best. At least I am pretty sure that's what Archie told Edith.
     All of things will be happening very quickly in the next 21 days. I have an appointment on Monday to see the cardiologist to hopefully clear me for surgery without ordering any more procedures. Then Tuesday I am taking George to take his driving test. Thursday Toby has a vet appointment and then the following Monday, the 8th I have the IVC procedure. So not only do I have to have this procedure but the doctors office they referred me too has doctors on vacation all month so I have to go all the way to Clifton to get this done. For you non-Jersey people that's like 45 mins to an hour away from me. My nerves are already happening. All I hope with me going through all this is that there is someone out there going to have the surgery as well that this is helping. Let me get all the nervousness out of the way for you so you can see everything is going to be OK.
     I know deep down that everything is going to be great. I can start seeing my future self now and the things that I will do. I will in a roller coaster next year at some point dammit. I have not been able to fit in one for many many years. I can remember when it happened. I was at Great Adventure with my friend Christine. We waited online for a very long time to get on the very first Batman roller coaster they had so you can imagine it was sometime ago. We got up to the front of the line I sat down and an realized nope  they could not close the safety harness. I was asked to get out and wait over on the side. I cant even tell you how embarrassing, no humiliating it was in front of dozens of people not to mention one of my best friends. I have not been to an amusement park since. Not even to go with others as company. I always had an excuse why I couldn't go. Things are going to change and I am doing more stuff already and taking pictures to prove it. I have had a lot of people comment on the picture below I took at 4th of July. They say red is definitely my color. What do you think? Let me know

A picture says a thousand words, 2 pictures are priceless.

     Yesterday I was playing around with my mac and the photo booth app. When I happened to see a picture on there from June when i was wearing the exact same shirt. Well i wanted to see if i could see a difference in myself. I know I lost 35 pounds but when you are as big as me that's a drop in the proverbial bucket. Its a BIG bucket. So I do not necessarily see my changes. I aligned myself up about the same as I was in the previous picture even opened the closet door as was in the other picture(excuse the mess) to make it look as close as possible to the original.The top picture was taken 06/24/11 the second was on 07/21/11.

     Now I know its not a jaw dropping reality weight loss TV show different but it was enough to help validate what I am doing. This also helped me wake up early this morning and head to the gym with Gus. To my readers who hate heading to the gym or think they cant do it or its just too hard. I HEAR YA!! However i do have to say that if you can get through a few days of it and go home load up on over the counter pain relief it starts to get easier. Just this morning we left the cardio room and i was literally almost running out about ready to dance. That is until I got outside (we are having a terrible heat wave in NJ, 100 degree temps UGH). Then I felt my energy get sapped. The point is, they are right! You know who they are the annoyingly peppy workout people who live in the gym and are constantly smiling praising the benefits of working out. Well one thing is very true, you really do (eventually) leave there with more energy then you when you got there. So if your struggling with the exercise portion, you can do it. Just go slow, that's what I had to do and now I am up to 25 minutes on the treadmill and its only been a week or so. Just try it for a couple of times. You'll be glad you did.

The Count Down Begins

     Well the date has been set and the count down can now begin. Tuesday I had another doctors appointment and I was given my surgery date. The big day will be August 17th. Now I almost said no to this date because as some of you may know about me family is very important to me and there is a family party on August 20th at my cousin Susan's house. It is always so much fun, she lives right on the lake and we re surrounded by woods couldn't be more beautiful. Come on, tell me this isn't paradise.

However I know that I have to have this done but i have a plan. If i get out of the hospital at that Thursday, I will still go and just sit in a nice comfy chair and heal in nature :-) .
     The next month is not going to be all that quiet either. I still have some hoops to jump through as well as continue to work on my weight loss. Since starting the journey I have lost a total of 35 pounds. 30 of them in the last month. I have started a walking regimen and every day I am at the gym with either George or Gus and sometimes both. I am hoping that will kick the weight loss into a higher gear. It is definitely a change getting up early again to hit the gym but I do not mind it at all. So what else do I have to do you say ?
     As some may remember from my last blog, I am too fat to get a stress test done, so I have to get clearance from a cardiologist. I have an appointment with the group in a couple of weeks. I have to make sure the oncologists fax's my clearance letter from him to the office since they never got it from a couple of months ago (Remember the concert scare?). Plus I have to return to the surgeons office next week with Gus so we can have a class on after care, that should be interesting LOL. I have to then go back one more time for consent signing, so I can't sue them if I die. I also have to go get more blood work done for pre admission testing. I feel like a pin cushion already, geez. I also have to go out and start getting vitamins and supplements. Turns out from my last blood work that i have low iron and vitamin A levels and i need to build them up before surgery. I say if they just would let me eat some red meat I would be OK. Burger anyone? Plus I have to be on vitamin b12 and a multi-vitamin. So after all this is done a new chapter of my Weightloss Diary of a Fat Man will begin.
      I have to sat that once I got the date i became both excited but more so nervous. I mean it is surgery and there are risks but there is more. This is nt like joining Weight Watchers again and saying this time it will be a lifestyle change. This is a permanent surgery and they are removing a large part of my stomach. I have to make sure I follow the plan. I guess I am asking myself can i do this for the rest of my life. Give up the comfort of foods I ran to my entire life. I spoke with one my surgeons about my cravings and he told me that although it is very difficult that some people say if you can resist long enough the cravings go away. But how long is long enough? Thankfully I have a great support system. Everyone has been very supportive, right down to getting me to update the blog. If its been to long my nephew Jonathan is on the phone asking me where the next chapter is? Here it is Jonny, OK get off my back!! LOL. And my friend Kendall called me yesterday asking me why my surgery date wasn't updated on my blog. All the well wishes and support I get from everyone who reads this helps me keep going and to for that I say thank you. Look out for more but for now I have to go walk the dog.

The Highs and The Lows

      It amazes me sometimes how we can be so happy with our accomplishments in life then all of a sudden out of the blue something happens to remind us of how far we have yet to go. That happened to me this week. As you may remember i lost 20 lbs in the first week of my super restrictive diet. That was amazing however what was more amazing was how I felt and what I could do now. A month ago I was winded from showering or from getting of the couch or walking up my stairs. The thought of going out and doing anything was daunting. I couldn't walk very far or stand very long without having to sit and rest my back. However the on 4th of July weekend Gus and I decided to go to the aquarium in Camden and I was the one actually pushing to go. The parking lot was a little bit of walk from the entrance and I felt old anxieties but i walked on and you know what? I COULD DO IT!! I walked all the way to the entrance around the corner from the lot and proceeded to go through the entire exhibit with just a couple of few minute breaks. I was having a great time out in the real world for the first time in a long long time. That evening we even went back out to watch the fireworks it was truly and Independence day for me.
      A couple of days after that after that I went to weigh in again now I was not expecting anywhere near my 20 lbs weight loss again but I was hoping for at least 5 lbs. To my surprise I was down 8 more pounds. I just knew that my surgery was going to be scheduled soon with the progress I was having. I figured on July 19th, I would go to the office having completed my last test(the stress test) on the Wednesday before, that they would scheduled it for me hopefully in August. Things were looking great. We even adopted a 4 month old saint bernard puppy named Toby. That would keep me busy and active for the next few weeks that's for sure.

  

      So now all i had to do was complete the stress test. Now not to be ironic however I was having serious stress over the stress test. I have never had it done before and although my mom was an old pro at them and told me it was no big deal, I still don't like unknown hospital tests. I get to the hospital this morning to take the test, I fasted and didn't have any caffeine (no big deal I an not allowed it on my diet anyway). A very nice nurse or tech comes and gets the lady before me and things seem ok. Then i see a very pensive looking odd guy come in with some paperwork and wouldn't you just know it, he was for me! "Mr. Walters ?" No i want the pleasant friendly woman please I thought to myself. Well off I went anyway and my fears are starting to come true. He stops at this locked door that has a key pad access and on it are warning signs all over saying radioactive material, hazardous!! That's it i am on the first thing moving out of here!! Be brave I tell myself i can do this. He stops in the middle of the doorway looking at my paperwork. This is your weight he says? Really?? Am i getting slack from this guy who looks like he was passed over on the part of Igor in Young Frankenstein. Yes that's correct. Well I am sorry we may not be able to do the test he says to me. there is a weight limit. He goes and checks but before he does he asks me if I can fit in the chair they draw blood in next to the door. Are you serious ??? Yes I can sit in your stupid chair! I hope the legs are strong i think to myself sarcastically. I wouldn't want to fall and go all the way through to China. Well low and be hold it turns out I can not take the test. I am TOO FAT for their machine! Are you kidding me ?? This is the main hospital for the bariatric centers surgery's. They send all there patients here to get the testing done, how could they possibly not have the right equipment. So, what I just leave I asked? yes and he pointed me out. Well thanks for nothing. I left with a half a feeling of relieve and the other half was frustration.
      Now what do I do. This is going to ruin everything. I will not have all my tests done and I am afraid they will not schedule the surgery. I called my dr.'s office right away and they are going to call around and get back to me. Now i am thinking will this affect my date to return to work, will my disability not be extended long enough, how long will this drag on for? I made the appointment for this test over a month ago. Will I have to wait this long again? All these questions and more will be answered on the next episode of SOAP. Sorry rambling and that probably didn't make any sense to my younger readers.  It was a TV show, Google it!
       So I know all journeys have their highs and lows and this is no different. It just that when you are riding really high, when the lows come they are that much more difficult to deal with. Stay Tuned.