Hello All,
I know its been a while since my last post and I have had a few dr.s visits since then so I have been neglectful. So sorry :-). So i have been to 3 different providers (insurance jargon), I mean doctors. Actually one nutritionalist, one psychologists and one doctor. The experiences were mixed I actually enjoyed my visits with the nutionalist and the pyschologists. I must like to talk or something. Go figure! With both of these professionals we spoke about what to expect, what the diet would be like before and after surgery. What fears I had, what vitamin supplements I would need. All very pleasant and sociable, then the clouds started to gather. Now I was not going to write about the last doctors visit until I had all the results back and I was sure what was going on. However I wanted the documentation of this process to be as honest as possilble and to be honest I an nervous. No, I am scared ! Now, must people you asked would probably not know I am feeling this way because I do a good job of keeping a positive outlook. So hear it goes.
Let me take you back almost 10 years ago when I had an emergency appendectomy. Perhaps a second chapter in my blog.;-). The surgery went well. It was done laparoscopically so healing would be quicker and I could get out of there in time to attend our yearly Halloween Party. You cant keep a good partier down!! Oh YES you can! Turns out my white blood cell count was still very high and not coming down to "normal" levels. I was in the hospital for 7 days, missed the party. But dont fret for me, some of my more caring relatives thought of me and called me from the party to tell me how much fun they were having. Thoughtful, right ? HMMPH.. Well after seeing countless physicians they decided there was nothing more to do and I just might have a high WBC count. So I know all about this and everytime a physician asks I say I just have a high WBC count. Well the doctors at the Bariatric Center wanted me cleared and seen by a hematologist. Ok , no big deal thats a blood doctor not too scary, until I realized the actual specialty of hematologists is actually Hematolagy/Oncology. Now that's scary.
So I go to my appointment and the tech asks me if my blood pressure is usually that high, I turn around to ass 196/98. I actually laughed to myself. I said no its no where near that high but as you might realize I an VERY NERVOUS. She then prepares me for what I think is one of the meanest procedures they do to people, the finger stick. I know its quick but they hurt. So i go into the room and wait for the doctor. now i know people say it felt like I waited for every for him blah blah blah, but I REALLY did wait a long time. The doc even apologized for the wait. I think i nodded off twice waiting for him. At first things started of pretty good I was optomistic. He said the levels were a little high but not really alarming and the percentages were actually in the normal range. Then came the big BUT and not like a Sir Mix-A-Lot song. he wanted to rule out one thing that has some of the same symptons and people my age can have. C.M.L. or Chronic Myeloid Leukemia. I am sorry WHAT ?? I just want weight loss surgery !! How did we come to this?? Not to worry its very treatable. Not to worry?? Easy for you to say. So now what ? He says he wants to rule it out with blod tests and if the are inconclusive he can also rule it out with a bone marrow biopsy. OOO forget that, If i thought a finger prick hurt I would never survive a bine marrow test.
So now I am waiting and sometimes I get scared. Its a lot to think about and worry. But I calm myself down by saying I have had this high WBC count for 10 years now and not a sign of being sick. So I am sure things will work out, I guess I am just worried the tests will be inconclusive and he will want the biopsy. Guess I will deal with that if it comes. For now, I have to wait until June 1st, That is my next appointment with him. Fingers Crossed.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
A peaceful nights sleep
Well taking a look at my calendar you would think I was rock star with all the appointments i have in the next two weeks. Unfortunately they are all doctors appointments!. YUCK
Since i posted last I have had a couple of things done i can check off my ever growing list of prerequisites i need for the surgery. The first thing was the sleep study test. Which, I would NEVER recommend. First of all the appointment is at 9 pm so i spend my entire day thinking about this upcoming event instead of enjoying a beautiful mothers day BBQ we had at the house. I get to the facility after a brief dispute with my GPS, on time and proceed to introduce myself to Doogie Howser tech that will be monitoring me for the night. So he proceeds to tell me what will happen and mark my head and face for the wires, this one does that , that one does this, who cares!! This one will let me know if your sleeping or awake. "Who are you, Santa?", I asked him. Well we got a laugh from the kid on that one. Now come the wires !! Now i am no fool, I realized i was going to be strapped in and have wires attached but i was NOT prepared for the actual number of wires i had on me. I looked like some 1950's B movie version of a robot or a bad Lady Gaga outfit. They were all over my head and chest and throat so moving was not an option. I got into bed and wherever i landed is where i was going to stay. It was explained to me that i would be monitored for 2 hours and if i was having apnea's i would be woken to put on a mask. Che Right !! I explained to Doogie(who's real name was Darwin) that i tried the mask once before and hated every second. Evidently he had to try it to make his bosses happy so i said fine i will try it for as long as possible. Off to bed I go. No i am laying there hot, confined and in a strange place, sounds peaceful huh? i obviously did not fall right to sleep but thought about 6 am and how much i wanted it to be here(that was checkout time). Well next thing i knew it was time to go to the bathroom. Now peeing at night is bothersome anyway, you wake up have to go then try to fall back asleep. Now try having to call for Darwin and wait for him to hear you and come disconnect your wire pack from the base. Then he handed me the back and the 50-70 wires all hanging in front of me and off i went. Now i will not get graphic here but believe me when i say going to the bathroom entwined in wires was quite a lesson in humility and embarrassment and something i never want to experience again. I just kept thinking is all of this really worth it?? Is it ? I guess I will let you know. So if going to the bathroom that time wasn't bad enough i wound up having to go 2 more times through the course of the night each time was worse than the other. Now the first time I went it was 12:15 am and Darwin said i needed to try the mask. I am not sure if anyone reading this every tried on a sleep apnea mask but i hate it. I am claustrophobic and this mask creates a seal over your mouth and nose and is tightly snapped on by large ban across the back of your head and forces air into your mouth. I only have two words for that.. Panic Attack. I had to pull it off my face as far as i could to speak and tell him to get it off. Hey you tried kiddo, you're bosses will be proud but this is not for me. So i go back to bed get up for my second pee its 2:30 am damn you elusive 6 am. So know i am laying in bed thinking ok i went to the bathroom at 2:30 it has to almost be 5 am. I look at my phone to see its only 3:15. My heart sank as i lay in that murphy bed thinking this night has to come to an end soon. finally for the third bathroom its after 4:30 ok this is good we are in the home stretch. I get back to bed and proceed to watch the clock countdown to 6. Ok Darwin where are you? Finally i call for him at 6:10 and he comes in to remove me from my electrical prison. All i want to do is get out of there and go home and take a shower. as the last of the electrodes come off i realize my head looks like something that survived the Exxon Valdez spill. Large gross lumps of "glue" as he called them but were really extra thick clumps of grease. I was never more happy to see my house and shower than i was that monday morning. Now foolish I thought i would be able to go to work that day since after all i was just going to be sleeping the night before, right ?? I am sure you guessed i called in sick and slept the entire day away.
My next adventure was much more sedate, it was the weight loss surgery seminar which i am required to attend. This showed me all the benefits to the different surgeries and i think i have picked the right one. I am going with the Sleeve Gastrectomy. It is a little but more invasive then the band but i think its the right fit for me. They remove about 80 percent of your stomach and with that the hormones that tell you, you are hungry. So i am hoping i made the right decision. I have appointments this Thursday, Friday and Monday so I am sure you will be hearing from me soon. Love ya all
Since i posted last I have had a couple of things done i can check off my ever growing list of prerequisites i need for the surgery. The first thing was the sleep study test. Which, I would NEVER recommend. First of all the appointment is at 9 pm so i spend my entire day thinking about this upcoming event instead of enjoying a beautiful mothers day BBQ we had at the house. I get to the facility after a brief dispute with my GPS, on time and proceed to introduce myself to Doogie Howser tech that will be monitoring me for the night. So he proceeds to tell me what will happen and mark my head and face for the wires, this one does that , that one does this, who cares!! This one will let me know if your sleeping or awake. "Who are you, Santa?", I asked him. Well we got a laugh from the kid on that one. Now come the wires !! Now i am no fool, I realized i was going to be strapped in and have wires attached but i was NOT prepared for the actual number of wires i had on me. I looked like some 1950's B movie version of a robot or a bad Lady Gaga outfit. They were all over my head and chest and throat so moving was not an option. I got into bed and wherever i landed is where i was going to stay. It was explained to me that i would be monitored for 2 hours and if i was having apnea's i would be woken to put on a mask. Che Right !! I explained to Doogie(who's real name was Darwin) that i tried the mask once before and hated every second. Evidently he had to try it to make his bosses happy so i said fine i will try it for as long as possible. Off to bed I go. No i am laying there hot, confined and in a strange place, sounds peaceful huh? i obviously did not fall right to sleep but thought about 6 am and how much i wanted it to be here(that was checkout time). Well next thing i knew it was time to go to the bathroom. Now peeing at night is bothersome anyway, you wake up have to go then try to fall back asleep. Now try having to call for Darwin and wait for him to hear you and come disconnect your wire pack from the base. Then he handed me the back and the 50-70 wires all hanging in front of me and off i went. Now i will not get graphic here but believe me when i say going to the bathroom entwined in wires was quite a lesson in humility and embarrassment and something i never want to experience again. I just kept thinking is all of this really worth it?? Is it ? I guess I will let you know. So if going to the bathroom that time wasn't bad enough i wound up having to go 2 more times through the course of the night each time was worse than the other. Now the first time I went it was 12:15 am and Darwin said i needed to try the mask. I am not sure if anyone reading this every tried on a sleep apnea mask but i hate it. I am claustrophobic and this mask creates a seal over your mouth and nose and is tightly snapped on by large ban across the back of your head and forces air into your mouth. I only have two words for that.. Panic Attack. I had to pull it off my face as far as i could to speak and tell him to get it off. Hey you tried kiddo, you're bosses will be proud but this is not for me. So i go back to bed get up for my second pee its 2:30 am damn you elusive 6 am. So know i am laying in bed thinking ok i went to the bathroom at 2:30 it has to almost be 5 am. I look at my phone to see its only 3:15. My heart sank as i lay in that murphy bed thinking this night has to come to an end soon. finally for the third bathroom its after 4:30 ok this is good we are in the home stretch. I get back to bed and proceed to watch the clock countdown to 6. Ok Darwin where are you? Finally i call for him at 6:10 and he comes in to remove me from my electrical prison. All i want to do is get out of there and go home and take a shower. as the last of the electrodes come off i realize my head looks like something that survived the Exxon Valdez spill. Large gross lumps of "glue" as he called them but were really extra thick clumps of grease. I was never more happy to see my house and shower than i was that monday morning. Now foolish I thought i would be able to go to work that day since after all i was just going to be sleeping the night before, right ?? I am sure you guessed i called in sick and slept the entire day away.
My next adventure was much more sedate, it was the weight loss surgery seminar which i am required to attend. This showed me all the benefits to the different surgeries and i think i have picked the right one. I am going with the Sleeve Gastrectomy. It is a little but more invasive then the band but i think its the right fit for me. They remove about 80 percent of your stomach and with that the hormones that tell you, you are hungry. So i am hoping i made the right decision. I have appointments this Thursday, Friday and Monday so I am sure you will be hearing from me soon. Love ya all
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
MY head is spinning and no vodka was involved....
WHAT ?? You want to take out how much of my what ? STOP!!!. Lets rewind this show a little huh.
I am Jim Walters and have struggled with a weight problem since puberty. So no i wasn't one of those 80 lb 4 years old on Maury with a chicken leg in one hand and a cigarette in the other and a mom wondering why I am so big already? It started gradually, i liked chocolate and hated vegetables, its not rocket science. I always wanted to try and lose weight get healthier, start doing things i loved and missed like fitting into rides at the amusement park or going swimming without my shirt on. There was always a deadline. I will make 21 the year i change my life, I am NOT going into my 30's a fattie, I refuse to turn 35 at this size. well I am now 37 and at the biggest I have ever been. Weight loss surgery was always something others had mentioned to me but i considered that failing, come on chubbie just put down the cheeseburger!! And there was NO WAY i wanted to have the saggy left over skin. I would rather be fat then have that i would tell myself, and MEAN it. Well I finally found out that none of this is as easy as i thought it would be or should be. Only took me 24 years to figure this out (and I am suppose to be the smart one on in my family). So now I am 37 years old and get winded from washing my hair or walking from my bed to the bathroom. Something is wrong I have never really had any health problems attached to my weight other then the dreaded SLEEP APNEA, which i was never officially diagnosed with since i refused to go get it checked out. But i never had high blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes etc. very very lucky. But now i sweat from a big lunch?? Come on!!! Now i am getting scared. My sleep deprivation is getting worse i have to take control of my life. Is it time ? Should i really look into this?? Do i finally give in and realize i need help??? Yes ! its time for weight loss surgery ( dum dum dum ).
This is me at my starting size
Appointment made. 4:30 appointment in Union NJ, ewww pithole area but ok I am sure the office will be better. OH! guess i was wrong there. However these people seem friendly so i can deal with it. Little did i know it was going to be a 2 hour office visit and i would wind up liking these people quite a bit. OK time to be seen, blood pressure and weigh in time yikes !! well BP not bad 140/83 and i am nervous. Weight .. WHAT ??? are you kidding me ? I don't even think I can blog about it yet. but lets just say i thought people this large were trapped in bed wearing bed sheet muumuu's .
Now the nutrionalist comes down to see me and wants me up stairs.
Are the stairs ok ??
OK for who ? dont you have my chart in front of you i am thinking ?? plus i was just seen this morning for a cat scan for a possible deflated lung (different story and was a false alarm). I will meet you upstairs she tells me.
So they want to know if i have thought about what kind of surgery I wanted, now I work for a large company that makes a certain stomach band and i just assumed that was what i was going with. However there are 3 different procedures each with different outcomes etc, the doc will tell you more ok later for that. The Nutritionist told me exactly what i already knew , no soda, juice, no late night eating. Also cut back on the fruits and up the veggies, easier said then done for a card carrying veggie hater. We will see how that goes. Now off to see the insurance guru.
Wow that's a lot of paperwork she has there i was thinking i had to jump through some hoops but i feel like a circus poodle now. I have to have how many tests done? Lets break them down, stress test, vericose duplex, sleep study, blood work, chest x-ray, ekg, attend a seminar, see a psychologist, one hour with a nutritionist, vascular surgery to put an umbrella filter in my vein to prevent clots, anything else ? mm i think i forgot a couple. MAN this has become daunting. Dont these people know i am very large and LAZY, i have struggled for 24 years with this lets just schedule the surgery for this friday huh ?? Well that's a no go since i need to be seen by them for 3-4 months before surgery gets scheduled. This is not an easy process. My head is spinning and i haven't had any cocktails to make me feel this way.
Well now i see the doctor and she is very nice and warm and i like her. So she starts telling me about the different tests and she thinks the gastric sleeve might be best for me. I say well i was kind of hoping for a low invasive surgery something thats not drastic, what does this sleeve entail?
Well we remove about 85 % of your stomach, leaving you with a small stomach sleeve. In case you missed my first word in the blog ..WHAT ??? O.K. i need to attend this seminar but right now i am still thinking the band, she says people with the band only lose about 50 % of their excess body weight ? UMMMMM I am cool with that. But be sure I will let you know what i decide. So my first appointment was yesterday 04/26 and i have made a lot of my other appointments for the next few weeks. Keep you all posted .. Jim - Diary of a fat man.
I am Jim Walters and have struggled with a weight problem since puberty. So no i wasn't one of those 80 lb 4 years old on Maury with a chicken leg in one hand and a cigarette in the other and a mom wondering why I am so big already? It started gradually, i liked chocolate and hated vegetables, its not rocket science. I always wanted to try and lose weight get healthier, start doing things i loved and missed like fitting into rides at the amusement park or going swimming without my shirt on. There was always a deadline. I will make 21 the year i change my life, I am NOT going into my 30's a fattie, I refuse to turn 35 at this size. well I am now 37 and at the biggest I have ever been. Weight loss surgery was always something others had mentioned to me but i considered that failing, come on chubbie just put down the cheeseburger!! And there was NO WAY i wanted to have the saggy left over skin. I would rather be fat then have that i would tell myself, and MEAN it. Well I finally found out that none of this is as easy as i thought it would be or should be. Only took me 24 years to figure this out (and I am suppose to be the smart one on in my family). So now I am 37 years old and get winded from washing my hair or walking from my bed to the bathroom. Something is wrong I have never really had any health problems attached to my weight other then the dreaded SLEEP APNEA, which i was never officially diagnosed with since i refused to go get it checked out. But i never had high blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes etc. very very lucky. But now i sweat from a big lunch?? Come on!!! Now i am getting scared. My sleep deprivation is getting worse i have to take control of my life. Is it time ? Should i really look into this?? Do i finally give in and realize i need help??? Yes ! its time for weight loss surgery ( dum dum dum ).
Appointment made. 4:30 appointment in Union NJ, ewww pithole area but ok I am sure the office will be better. OH! guess i was wrong there. However these people seem friendly so i can deal with it. Little did i know it was going to be a 2 hour office visit and i would wind up liking these people quite a bit. OK time to be seen, blood pressure and weigh in time yikes !! well BP not bad 140/83 and i am nervous. Weight .. WHAT ??? are you kidding me ? I don't even think I can blog about it yet. but lets just say i thought people this large were trapped in bed wearing bed sheet muumuu's .
Now the nutrionalist comes down to see me and wants me up stairs.
Are the stairs ok ??
OK for who ? dont you have my chart in front of you i am thinking ?? plus i was just seen this morning for a cat scan for a possible deflated lung (different story and was a false alarm). I will meet you upstairs she tells me.
So they want to know if i have thought about what kind of surgery I wanted, now I work for a large company that makes a certain stomach band and i just assumed that was what i was going with. However there are 3 different procedures each with different outcomes etc, the doc will tell you more ok later for that. The Nutritionist told me exactly what i already knew , no soda, juice, no late night eating. Also cut back on the fruits and up the veggies, easier said then done for a card carrying veggie hater. We will see how that goes. Now off to see the insurance guru.
Wow that's a lot of paperwork she has there i was thinking i had to jump through some hoops but i feel like a circus poodle now. I have to have how many tests done? Lets break them down, stress test, vericose duplex, sleep study, blood work, chest x-ray, ekg, attend a seminar, see a psychologist, one hour with a nutritionist, vascular surgery to put an umbrella filter in my vein to prevent clots, anything else ? mm i think i forgot a couple. MAN this has become daunting. Dont these people know i am very large and LAZY, i have struggled for 24 years with this lets just schedule the surgery for this friday huh ?? Well that's a no go since i need to be seen by them for 3-4 months before surgery gets scheduled. This is not an easy process. My head is spinning and i haven't had any cocktails to make me feel this way.
Well now i see the doctor and she is very nice and warm and i like her. So she starts telling me about the different tests and she thinks the gastric sleeve might be best for me. I say well i was kind of hoping for a low invasive surgery something thats not drastic, what does this sleeve entail?
Well we remove about 85 % of your stomach, leaving you with a small stomach sleeve. In case you missed my first word in the blog ..WHAT ??? O.K. i need to attend this seminar but right now i am still thinking the band, she says people with the band only lose about 50 % of their excess body weight ? UMMMMM I am cool with that. But be sure I will let you know what i decide. So my first appointment was yesterday 04/26 and i have made a lot of my other appointments for the next few weeks. Keep you all posted .. Jim - Diary of a fat man.
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